How I got into Kink: My Descent into Depravity Part I

Let me just dim the lights and get some sexy tunes going - I'm going to enjoy this.

Now that I think about it, my bondage fantasies started quite young. As a child I used to dream about being kidnapped, tied up and held hostage by “bad guys.” In playground games I was always the princess held captive, sitting in my invisible cell waiting to be rescued. Sometimes I hoped that I wouldn’t be set free.

My childhood best friend and I used to spend hours playing in a crawlspace in her basement. It was every child’s dream – full of costumes for dressing up, hundreds of Barbie dolls and houses, games. This was probably around 1992, which would put me at 7 or 8. I remember a game we used to play with the dolls that involved men kidnapping the women, stripping off their clothes and molesting and torturing them while they were restrained. Seems strange subject matter for such innocent young kids, right? We played that game quite often.


For the record, we also spent a lot of time setting up clothing stores run by the same female dolls, reading Archie comics and watching cartoons – go figure.

My first few sexual encounters with boys weren’t exactly consensual. I was pressured and bullied into doing things I didn’t want to do, and having things done to me that I wasn’t comfortable with.

My first French kiss! God, I was so terrified. It was around 1996 which would put me at around 12, and I had a “boyfriend” who wanted to French me. I got the internet that year and spent HOURS searching Yahoo for “How to French Kiss.” Of course, there was no “this is how you do it, Kid,” and when it finally happened it was awkward in the way all first kisses are awkward. We were on his sister’s bed, and I remember there being miscellaneous tools under us, digging into our skin. He pulled me towards him, placed his lips on mine and we laid down together while our tongues battled. It was slippery and a little gross, but I was happy to finally have it over with. It wasn’t half as scary or mortifying as I had expected, thank Christ.

Soon after kissing became a regular thing with us, he wanted to skip playing with breasts and go straight to pussy.