I Told You I Was Freaky!

Because this makes me giggle...

Knowing Your sub's Needs

I came across a discussion in a Dominant group on Fetlife, and this question was posed:

How to know what your sub needs?

by AptGirl 1 day ago

Seems to me there are several categories of wants (not exhaustive but just illustrative),

1. Wants one freely admits to and asks for
2. Wants one cannot admit to but might hint at
3. Wants one cannot admit and cannot ask for
4. Wants one doesn't know they want
5. and finally not wanting something at all

What I'm having problems with is determining whether a kink is in category 3,4,or 5. An example might be forced-bi with a strait sub. I ask them what their fears are and they say it as one of their main fears (not limits but fears). Is this being brought up by them makes me want to put it in category 3 or 4. But what if I'm wrong and it's really 5?

Protocols and Etiquette

J and I have recently had to discuss reining in my communications with rando kinksters via the interwebs.

I can be a social butterfly when I'm so inclined, but J felt that the time I spent cultivating some of these virtual relationships could have been better spent elsewhere, and I agree.

At first I thought that the notion was out of line, to be honest. I enjoy talking to people, and I like to think that I am a good listener. However, the flip side of that is I can end up spending a lot of time listening to others and not necessarily get the same treatment in return. My attention was divided many ways and I was getting spread pretty thin. J noticed this and decided to address it.

Woot! S & M Video!