I Told You I Was Freaky!

Because this makes me giggle...

Knowing Your sub's Needs

I came across a discussion in a Dominant group on Fetlife, and this question was posed:

How to know what your sub needs?

by AptGirl 1 day ago

Seems to me there are several categories of wants (not exhaustive but just illustrative),

1. Wants one freely admits to and asks for
2. Wants one cannot admit to but might hint at
3. Wants one cannot admit and cannot ask for
4. Wants one doesn't know they want
5. and finally not wanting something at all

What I'm having problems with is determining whether a kink is in category 3,4,or 5. An example might be forced-bi with a strait sub. I ask them what their fears are and they say it as one of their main fears (not limits but fears). Is this being brought up by them makes me want to put it in category 3 or 4. But what if I'm wrong and it's really 5?

Protocols and Etiquette

J and I have recently had to discuss reining in my communications with rando kinksters via the interwebs.

I can be a social butterfly when I'm so inclined, but J felt that the time I spent cultivating some of these virtual relationships could have been better spent elsewhere, and I agree.

At first I thought that the notion was out of line, to be honest. I enjoy talking to people, and I like to think that I am a good listener. However, the flip side of that is I can end up spending a lot of time listening to others and not necessarily get the same treatment in return. My attention was divided many ways and I was getting spread pretty thin. J noticed this and decided to address it.

Woot! S & M Video!

On Orgasms...

J is the MASTER of my body.

Did you know that the first day we met IRL we fucked? It was a wonderful day of greasy cheeseburgers, foreign flicks, and fucking - does it get any better than that?

The things He did to my body that first night blew my mind. It was like He had my owners manual! When He works me over and I'm blindfolded I don't know *what* He is doing, but it makes me cum over and over again. Is He using His tongue, His dick or His fingers? If I can't see, sometimes I can't tell... He can work His magic and give me a G-spot O, or a clit based O almost instantly! I can't do that to myself, and me and my vagina are like THIS! *crosses fingers*

Rules, Orgasms, and Punishments...

I had an orgasm without permission this week.

I knew that J would have no way of knowing that I had broken a rule unless I confessed, and that got me thinking about submission and what it means to me. If I only follow orders at my convenience, what kind of submissive am I?

So I considered it.

I confessed to J that I came without permission, and He was upset that I had broken one of His rules. He wanted me to know that His rules are not arbitrary, there is a very good reason behind each and every one of them (whether or not I am allowed to know is up to Him).

J is Back in Town, Part 1

So my two week long whirlwind of debauchery has come to a close, and I'm left with bruises, a sore pussy, HOT memories, a new love for clothespins, and one of J's shirts.

We got A LOT done in 2 weeks, my friends!

J told me to look sexy and wear a skirt when I picked Him up at the airport in front of his co-workers. I primped for hours, had a long relaxing bath, moisturized my entire body, gave myself a pedicure, and tried on 25 different outfits before I settled on what I was going to wear. Then I get word that His flight was delayed, and then it was delayed again. It was TORTURE! I headed out to the airport anyway and paced in front of the screen showing the domestic arrivals for about 45 minutes before I saw that His flight had finally landed.

J, Axle and a Sex Tape

I'm working on editing our latest sex video and it's much more difficult then I had anticipated. Here are 2 screenshots from the first few minutes. I'm too tired to write/edit any more right now **yawn** Enjoy!

D'awww

J can really work a riding crop

ENNEAGRAM Personality Test Results

Hey all,

I took this test as a lark but it was pretty dead on. This is invaluable information for all you people out there who want to charm/befriend me ;)

Your Enneagram type is TWO "The Helper" (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing,
and sensitive to other people's needs.

Shit, There is not Enough Time in the Day!

Fuck, Dudes...

Sorry I haven't been in touch, but shit has been crazy!  I just got a new job, but I was only given 8 days to study for my licensing exam (and they recommend 75+ hours of studying) and J came home.  Between those two things I have been so busy!  I've also got no money, a drug dealer owes me $800 that he refuses to pay for no good reason, and I have $40 in my bank account.  I wasn't able to pay my rent, my car payment, and I run out of my prescription drugs tomorrow and have no way of raising to $150 for them.

I've been stressed.

Time Flies

Captain's Log, Stardate 201101.29

In about 8 hours, I'll board my flight home. I have two weeks to use as I see fit before I return for the final of my three work trips this winter. Incidentally, two weeks is the length of time that my co-author/partner in crime/lovely submissive/depraved slut have spent in each other's presence since meeting. Although that period of time passed quickly, in some respects it seemed much longer than two weeks due to the advances that took place in our relationship. The four weeks since have more or less blown by as they mostly consisted of routine days of fairly repetitive work.

Words to Live by

"Let my perversions corrupt you. Exploit my depravity and you will own my soul." -Catherine de Sade

Wow - truer words...

My new years resolution was to become more hedonistic, and this quote is now my mantra.

-A

I Can't Wait to Drive to the Airport..?

It's true, I can't wait!

Three more sleeps and then I get the pleasure of driving to the airport outside Halifax and picking J up after a long day of flights. It's been murder being apart from Him, especially since my life has slowly been falling into pieces. I've been depressed, unemployed, and not looking after myself - it finally caught up to me last night.

It's a vicious circle, as I'm sure anybody who has experience with depression can tell you. In addition to my major depressive disorder, I also am being treated for hypothyroidism which exacerbates the symptoms of depression. My sleep pattern is completely fucked up right now, and my thyroid problem still isn't under control.

Fucking Up.

Wow - My first trip to a gay bar, and I ended up getting tongue from a transsexual.

J wasn't happy about it, and it lead to a bit of a discussion. I had asked Him before if the idea of seeing me with a woman excited Him, and He asserted that it would be hot, but reality can bite. J wasn't at the bar, He is still away on science business, but I called him as soon as I got in to tell him about my evening.

I don't dance, or go out to bars/clubs, it's just not my scene - especially after being drugged at a packed bar one night in 2007. However, my awesome gay roomie and his best buddy convinced me that it would be a good time, and so off we went to Reflections.

More Meal Plans!

Appetizer - Garlic Cheese Fingers
Main - Spinach and Feta Lasagna Rolls
Dessert - Ice Cream Sundae

Appetizer - Broccoli and Cream Cheese in Puff Pastry
Main - Shepard's Pie
Dessert - Chocolate Cupcakes

I hope you enjoy, J! <3

3:45am

Is an excellent time to educate oneself in the practice of corporal punishment


J

"I Belong to You" - For J...

This is one of my favourite songs because it reminds me of J, and our wonderful relationship. I get a thrill every time J says anything about owning me, or the fact that I belong to him. <3

Some Pictures of Axle

Pretty self explanatory, just some pictures of me...

Check out the rest of the pics on Flickr!

Axle's Yes/No/Maybe List

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Bondage Bed Rope Work

I recently posted a question on a Fetlife message board.

CanadaKuffman came to my rescue with this wonderful MsPaint drawing...

Sleep can be Elusive, my OTHER broken Vibe, & some Doctor Who!

It's 6am here on the Atlantic coast, and I'm sitting and yawning at my computer. J sent me to bed at 3am, and I tossed and turned for 2 hours before getting up and checking out the new discussions on the Submissive Women thread via Fetlife. Came across some cool blogs, and I linked to a few.

*Yawn* Too tired to be funny or interesting, sorry readers...

Also, my We Vibe II *STILL* isn't working. I'm about to become sexually frustrated. I didn't realize how much I prefer G-Spot orgasms to clitoral ones. Clit-based Os just seem so quick, faint and fleeting for me now! I'm not satisfied and I want another one right after...

That just made me think of Chinese food.

But I digress - I may pop a xanax and watch some vintage Doctor Who. Nothing relaxes me like some Benzos and bad Black and White sci-fi from the 60's. For you HARDCORE fans of the blog, I'll post a link to the episode I'm about to watch - Seeds of Death (1969). Incidentally, this aired a few months before The Moon Landing happened IRL. It makes me wonder why the science was so far off in the show.

No it doesn't.

So now you know a bit more about me. I like D/s, face fucking, 3-ways, and Doctor Who circa 1970.

Thanks for reading, Kinksters!

-Axle "I'm Tired!" Rose

**Begin Doctor Who Theme Song**

<3

Hungry?

J asked me to post pictures of some of the meals I've prepared for him.

Prepare to get hungry!

Post Moderation by J

BTW Kinksters - J has decided that He will moderate my blog from now on. I will continue to write posts and pages as I see fit, but the final say Re: publishing will be His.

I don't foresee any deletions or crazy edits to posts, but I thought I would keep you posted, Loyal Readers!

<3

-Axle

Sexual Conditioning

So J and I are both very intrigued by the idea of sexual conditioning (Thank you, Pavlov!) and can't wait to start working on some different techniques.

J is away for another 13 days, but we were discussing the conditioning possibilities earlier this evening. I was thinking that it might be a good start to buy a dildo similar in size to J's enormous cock to practise deep-throating on (my gag reflex is now my enemy) and use a vibe at the same time. Every time I get a bit more of it down my throat, the vibe gets turned up a notch, until finally the fake dick is completely in my throat and I'm riding my vibe to ecstasy. That will take a long time, I imagine, but I think I'll enjoy every minute of it.

Any readers have experience with conditioning of this type? We also want to start conditioning me to associate pain with pleasure, and are tossing around the idea of me utilizing some clothes pins while I masturbate. It seems like an inexpensive start, anyway.

Thank Christ (says the Atheist) I found Kink and J.

THAT'S Not Sexy...

FUCK.

The horrible pressures of Real Life are starting to fuck with my ability to fluidly write my filth.  I'm unemployed, out of money, food, and too many things are falling apart around me.  UGH.

J should be home from work soon, and he'll talk me down.

THIS.  FUCKING.  SUCKS.

*slits wrists*

-A

How I got into Kink: My Descent into Depravity Part II

I won’t talk too much about that dumb kid – I actually can’t even remember his name now. Long story short, after moaning, whining, cajoling and coaxing, I finally let him touch it. He thought it was gross. I may have turned him gay.

I lost my virginity at 13 with a 16 year old, who ended up getting me pregnant. I had an abortion during the first few months of my high school career, and miraculously was able to keep it quiet. The guy, who I’ll call DICK, ended up being a crazy creep – can you believe it?

How I got into Kink: My Descent into Depravity Part I

Let me just dim the lights and get some sexy tunes going - I'm going to enjoy this.

Now that I think about it, my bondage fantasies started quite young. As a child I used to dream about being kidnapped, tied up and held hostage by “bad guys.” In playground games I was always the princess held captive, sitting in my invisible cell waiting to be rescued. Sometimes I hoped that I wouldn’t be set free.

My childhood best friend and I used to spend hours playing in a crawlspace in her basement. It was every child’s dream – full of costumes for dressing up, hundreds of Barbie dolls and houses, games. This was probably around 1992, which would put me at 7 or 8. I remember a game we used to play with the dolls that involved men kidnapping the women, stripping off their clothes and molesting and torturing them while they were restrained. Seems strange subject matter for such innocent young kids, right? We played that game quite often.

It's Snowing in Nova Scotia...

I'm going to try to get some posts up, but the power is flickering on and off...

So either you'll get some smutty posts this evening, or you can think of me whiling away the power outage lying nude in bed playing with my dirty self.

Somebody mentioned to me earlier today that being tied to my desk might get the creative juices flowing.  Thanks to him, juices are flowing...

Wish me filthy fantasies to write and share!

xoxox,

Axle

Hurricane - The Film

I can't stop watching this - it's an explicit short film by 30 Seconds to Mars with some hot BDSM themes.  I hope you enjoy!

The *NEW* Part The Third

I just made a few minor changes, hopefully they improve the piece.


“Thank you all for gathering at such short notice this evening, gentlemen,” The doctor addressed the crowd through the one-way mirror.

The doctor picked up his clipboard and scanned the first few pages.

“The patient first came to see me about problems pertaining to low libido and an inability to achieve an orgasm with her sexual partner. I assured her that this was unfortunately fairly common in women her age, and that relationship and sex counselling with a professional would probably be her best option.

Woot!

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My First O

I recently started a thread on Fetlife.com asking if women remembered their first orgasm, and whether or not they were alone when it happened.  I couldn't believe the response (about 100+ in 2 days, before the thread was closed) and so I'm going to share mine here.


I would lie in bed reading after I was supposed to be asleep.  I remember lying on my back at night, and I absent-mindedly started tracing my fingers up and down my torso while I continued to read.  I realized that it started to feel better and better the lower my fingertips went, until they ended up inside my panties and rubbing my pussy.  I wasn't thinking of anything sexual at this point, it just seemed to feel good, so I went with it...

Then all of a sudden wave after wave of pleasure washes over me and I gasp, drop my book, and breathe through it.

My first BIG O!

What do you think I was reading?

a Garfield comic book.

I was 10 or 11.  Maybe that's why I love pussy so much.

xoxox,

A

Chirp, chirp!

I mean, Tweet Tweet!

catch some <140 character love @ http://www.twitter.com/hotkinkster

<3

My New Assignment

Hey Folks,

This evening J gave me a new task.  I'm to write a letter for him by hand - old school style.  In the letter I need to address a few different aspects of our relationship, starting with how I feel about the time we've spent together so far.  I'm to describe what it means for me to have a loving Dominant in my life, and how the thought of fulfilling all of his desires both intrigues and excites me.  I also get to discuss my fantasies and hopes for the future, and any other material I deem relevant.

Sounds like a wonderful assignment, right?  I should be able to handle it, and enjoy myself immensely in the process.

BUT - He then told me that I had to write these things *WITHOUT* "delving into the sexually explicit"!

It should be interesting, I'll keep you posted on my progress.

xoxoxox,

A

Part The Third

I just finished a sexy reading of part the third to J, as he ate chicken wings on cam... lol

I have never experienced anything quite like it, and I hope I never do again.

I LOVE YOU, J!

ttys,

A

Waiting...

I'm waiting patiently for J to call me.

I've just posted the 3rd instalment of my Medical Play story, and I want to hear his feedback.

He is partying hard in another province, and I cant wait to hear his voice.

<3

-A

Medical Play - Part The Third

“Thank you all for gathering at such short notice this evening, gentlemen,” The doctor addressed the crowd through the one-way mirror.

“The subject presents with some intriguing symptoms, and is in urgent need of sexual release.”

The doctor picked up his clipboard and scanned the first few pages.

“The patient first came to see me about problems with low libido and an inability to achieve an orgasm with her sexual partner. I assured her that this was unfortunately fairly common in women her age, and the best course of action was to start relationship and sex counselling with a professional.

More Medical Play

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Meal Plan #1

The first meal I have planned for J's return - I've been ordered to come up with one for every week He is away.

Kale and Chevre Lasagnette
Braised Pork Shoulder with ginger roasted carrots and olive oil crushed mashed potatoes
Banana Crepes with Nutella

YUM!

My Space Explorer Vibe

I just burned out my THIRD one.  Boooooo!

My second favourite vibe (after my We Vibe II) - It takes a D battery.  The vibration is strong enough on a weak setting to make your entire hand numb in about 10 seconds.

RIP Space Explorer Vibe #3 - I'll miss you.

<3

Homework Assignment #2 - Part Deux

I've never enjoyed a homework assignment so much - Thanks J <3


The examination lamp is shining so brightly in my face that when I look away the haze of it continues to obscure my vision.  I can see a tall, slim figure approach, clutching a clipboard in one hand and checking his watch with the other.  I start to feel dizzy and my vision starts to blur.  I stop craning my neck and just rest my head back onto the cold metal table.  I breathe in and out deeply, my bare chest heaving, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass.  


I close my eyes and try to relax, try to forget my aching limbs, stretched almost to the breaking point while I'm bound, helpless, and laid out for all to see.

Homework Assignment #2 - Part 1

While J is away I've been ordered to masturbate daily and email him all of the details, here is part 1 of my most recent assignment.

"I’m lying in bed on my back with my legs slightly spread apart and thinking of you.

My eyes are closed, and I’m breathing slowly and deeply while playing with my gorgeous tits.

In this fantasy, I’m nude and splayed out on a cold and hard examining table.  My legs are stretched wide enough to cause considerable pain, and my feet are held in place by stirrups.  There is a petite nurse, a slim and sexy brunette, checking my restraints and making sure I’m held tightly in place.  I can see her erect nipples through the thin fabric of her tight uniform.  She seems to be enjoying my discomfort as she lazily runs her fingers up and down my bound form, checking and re-checking that I am helpless to move or escape.  My hands are bound together above my head, and there is a heavy strap across my neck immobilizing my upper body.

24/7 Lifestyle Cam

One of my biggest fantasies is to share a home with J, rigged with cameras.  I love the idea of strangers watching me serve J, enjoying him punishing me, fucking me.

Do you think that could be a viable idea?  Its sexy as hell to me.

Crackbook

J isn't altogether sure about making our relationship public on The Facebook....  Yeah, I think it's funny to insert a "The" where it doesn't belong.

What do you think?  Shouldn't He be beaming with pride to show our FB friends that we're together?  It's all Vanilla on there anyway...

Boourns.

While my Dom is away...

I'll bore you all with back story later.

As it stands now, my wonderful Dom "J" is away on business.  I've been ordered to masturbate daily for him, and then to email him all of the juicy details.  My first instalment lead to high praise.  It was also posted on http://www.FilthyEmails.org (#197).

I'm going to post it again here, so you don't need to leave our site to read it.

"So I was already pretty worked up after our conversation last night.  I slipped out of my clothes and into a pink satin baby-doll and slid under the covers. 

I closed my eyes and remembered the sensation of your whole body pinning me down, your hard cock pressed against me, and the wonderful feeling of helplessness I experienced then.  I started running my hands up my torso to my breasts and imagined it was you cupping them and teasing my nipples.  Twisting them harder and harder between your fingers, pulling them up and away from my body while I moan and writhe for more.